The Growth of our Fellowship

You’ll be messed up, your spouse will be messed up, and your kids will be messed up.  Another one bites the dust.

And don’t even sit there with your self-righteous self and say, “Ed, you’re being pretty hard on those of us who are divorced.  I can’t believe it, I thought you taught grace.”  I’m all about grace.  Divorce is not the unpardonable sin, no.  But there will be consequences to sin.

Right now I could jump in my car and rob a convenience store; I know how to do it.  I’d get caught, they’d arrest me, and I’d go to prison and be behind bars.  I could hit my knees and say, “Lord forgive me!  Lord, I’m sorry!  Lord, I want to turn from my sin.”

Would God forgive me?  No doubt about it.  Would I still be in jail?  Yes.  You get the picture.  God’s not going to remove the consequences of that decision.

So don’t have an affair. I take that back:  have an affair with your spouse!  That’s what you should do. Take all the energy, all that creativity, all that money, and put it into her.   Have an affair with your spouse.  Have a date night at least once a week.  A pediatrician was the first person who told me to lead out in this issue.  Not a pastor, not a marriage counselor, not some theologian. It was our pediatrician.

The twins were six weeks old and she said, “Ed, have you taken Lisa out on a date?”

I said, “A what?”

And eleven years ago we started this date night thing.  It has revolutionized our marriage. And I’m going to talk about it until all of us do it.  It’ll change your life.  Because if you don’t date your spouse, you’re going to date someone else.

“How?  How do you do it, Ed?  How do I capitalize on my singleness?”  The first blank.  Time.  Write the word time.  Capitalize on your time.  Time is a gift from God.  That is why the Bible says in Philippines 1:27, “Whatever happens, make sure that your everyday life is worthy of Christ.”  If we didn’t have singles here, our church could not function.  You should have seen this place about four hours ago.  Singles running around helping, the sound, the lighting, the technicians, the praise team , the praise band, the people running all this computer generated stuff.  Single adults, giving up their time.  If these folks were married, ha, ha, ha.  It is a pipedream that this service would come off.  And they are using their time for the glory of God.  So, are you capitalizing, singles, on your time or are you just spinning your wheels saying, well, I’m just going to kind of veg out here until I meet the right person, then my life will really start happening, then I can use time, but right now I’ll just kind of waste time, kind of flounder around.

Number two.  We need to capitalize on attitude.  Look at Philippines 4:12.  Attitude.  The big attitude.  Paul said, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation.”  A friend of mine has said, paranoia will destroia.  And there are singles I know who are paranoid about getting married.  And because they are single, it is easy for them to become self-absorbed.  That is why I encourage you to give of yourself, to thank God for your singleness, to ask Jesus Christ to work on your attitude.

Do you remember when the Egyptians were chasing the Israelites?  The Israelites had left the slavery and that whole situation and God drowned the Egyptian army with the waters of judgment and death?

Do you remember Jonah? When Jonah was running from God and they cast him overboard, he sank into the depths of judgment and the big fish swallowed him. And then three days later, he barfed him up on land.  And the New Testament talks about that that’s a picture of Jesus Christ.

When you’re baptized, when I was baptized, it’s a picture of identification.  It’s a picture of being washed and it’s a picture of obedience, but also it’s a picture of us passing through judgment; passing through the waters of judgment. Because we can’t last under water very long, can we?  We pass through the waters of death and judgment because of our mediator, because of the person of Christ.  We pass through death and judgment because of Jesus, because we’ve received it.  That’s why baptism is so big.

We’re stepping up, we’re stepping out and the Bible says, from cover to cover, when we make a faith decision, we’re to go on record. And Jesus said, “Just add water.  Just add water.”

Whenever I talk about baptism; whenever I talk about going public, people always ask questions.  Questions, questions, questions.  And all the questions I’ve dealt with and fielded over the years about baptism are pretty much lumped into five basic questions.

The Baby Question

The first question is the baby question.  How many of you were baptized, like my wife was, as an infant?  You were sprinkled.  Lift your hands.  I want to show you what the Bible says about infant baptism.  Just a second. [Ed begins flipping through the pages of his Bible looking for a verse.] This is what the Bible says about infant baptism.  [another pause as Ed continues to search scriptures.]  Nothing!

You know, a while back, I had the opportunity to sit down and talk to someone, and if I called this person’s name most of you would probably know this person. He’s kind of a celebrity type. And this person said, “You know, Ed, I’m a Christ follower. But you know, I don’t wear Christianity on my sleeve.”

This guy’s got it all wrong, man.  As a Christian, we wear it on our sleeve.  Not as a negative thing, but we’re proud to say, “You know what? I’m stepping up. I’m stepping out. I’m going public with my faith.” Because in the Bible, you publicly professed your faith.  In fact, Jesus said, “If you profess me; if you confess me before men, I’ll tell the Father in heaven about that.” So we’re identifying with the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ when we’re baptized.  We’re showing people, we’re showing the world that our life has been changed.

Washing

Washing is something else we should think about when we think about baptism.  My sins have been forgiven and forgotten.  I’m cleansed. Not by anything I’ve done, but because of what’s been done for me through Christ.  It’s something I don’t deserve.  That’s why we submerge people when we baptize people at Fellowship Church.  That’s why we dunk people.  It’s because the waters symbolize the fact that Jesus has washed our sins away.  He’s already done the work.  We either receive the work or not.

Judgement

Judgment is something else when you think about baptism and how big it is.  Do you realize water and judgment go together?  Think about the Noah-ation flood when God rained and God flooded the earth to judge the people because sin had reached a fever pitched level.  It was a wheels off situation.  Yet, God spared Noah and his family, that faithful group.

When we get into a relationship, and level two needs aren’t being met but we don’t why, ribbit, we jump to another relationship and surely this person can meet the ultimate needs, this person can cure my loneliness.  It doesn’t work, break that off, ribbit, into another one.  Here is what Jesus says about that.  Jesus says, look here on your outline John 14:27 “Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you…”(if you are married).  Is that what He says?  NO, no, no, no, there are no stipulations here.  There are no stipulations here.  Jesus says, peace is what I leave with you, not your spouse, not your lover, I am the source of peace.  Look at John 10:10.  “I have come in order that you might have life – and have life in all of its fullness”.

The word fullness in the Greek it means overflowing.  Even if you are unmarried.  Hebrews 13:5.  Jesus said, talking to lonely people, “…I will never leave you; I will never (ever) abandon you”.  You are not married and you are lonely and you think, a spouse will do it.  What is the solution?  Explore the depths of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  Until he fills that hole in your heart, until he meets that level two, your life will never, ever come together.  That is why there is so much divorce, that is why there is so much relational trouble, is because of this level two thing. I am not trying to put restrictions on you.  Instead, I want you to do what is right and proper and to give yourselves completely to the Lord’s service without any reservation.”  That’s why I say capitalize, single adults, capitalize on your singleness.

Now here are some chilling words in the Book of Judges.  Judges 21:25 (NAS).  “In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.”

Relativism.  What’s right for you; what’s true for you.

Illus: I was on the beach several years ago. And as I was walking down this beautiful beach on the gulf coast of Florida I saw a fence on the beach.  I thought, “That is kind of odd; a fence on the beach.”  And as I looked closer I saw some signs near the fence. And the signs read, “Sea turtle eggs.”

And then it told me if I stepped on the sand above the sea turtle eggs I would get thrown in prison and pay this astronomical fine.

I thought, wow, we’re really into protecting developing baby sea turtles.  So our government is into that, but it is okay to take the lives of developing babies?  It is okay to take the lives of 3,288 developing babies every 24 hours?!

What’s right is now wrong.  What’s wrong is now right.  Truth versus relativism.  It is time for us to embrace the truth and receive the truth and to be the truth.  Because when I look inside of myself, which so many new age philosophies tell me to do, books like The Secret and The Gospel According to Oprah, just to name a few.  When I look inside of myself, I see someone who is fallen and fallible.  I see someone who is sin stained.  And when I do what I want to do I mess up.

But as I realize that truth is outside of me; as I realize I have an opportunity to receive the Lord; as he invades my life, then I have a truth source.  I have an anchor.  I operate from truth.

And it scares me to death to see this battle going on.  Truth versus relativism.  Relativism versus truth.  Yet, so many of us have drunk so much deception that we don’t even realize there’s a battle going on.

And they start putting unrealistic expectations on their spouse because they think their spouse can meet these supernatural needs that only Jesus Christ can meet.  And most unmarried people are unaware of this, they are unconscious of this second level, thus they are expecting a human being to meet those second level needs.  And then they put stipulations on their spouse, demands on them, cutting them down.  And then that relationship ends up in a train wreck and then they leap from that relationship like a giant frog, ribbit, ribbit, to another relationship.

Three weeks ago, as you know, my wife and I had twins.  And during the three weeks I was off, I took care of the twins, of course along with Lisa.  I   was there assisting her, at her every call.  And my two year old son, EJ, got a little bored a couple of times, he would try to hug them a little too tightly.  So I ended up taking EJ down to a little pond close to our house at least thirty-four times in a matter of three weeks.  And EJ wanted to see the frogs.  Daddy, I want to see the frogs, the frogs, the frogs.  And after we would see the frogs, we would go home. And as I was putting him to bed he would say, “Dad, tell me about it, tell me about the frogs.”  Well these frogs are amazing, I have never seen frogs like this.  I hate to get off on a Discovery Channel thing but the frogs have a yellow belly and a bright green top and they are monsters.  They are hugh.  Ribbit.  (demonstration)  Real deep like that, and they can jump like ten feet.

Number 3: Here’s something else I jotted down. Compare your spouse to Christ. Hello! Compare your spouse to Christ. If you compare your spouse, which I know you have done, with someone else; when you do that, or when I do that, that’s unrealistic. What are we doing, man? We’re comparing reality with fantasy.

Let’s say someone at work has caught your eye. You see him or her always putting their best foot forward, always well-dressed, always smiling, always polite, always have nice breath, white teeth, and whatever. You know all this stuff.

Well, that person is not your spouse. I mean, we see our spouse warts and all, don’t we? We see the real deal—mortgage payments, car repairs, kids, homework and all that stuff. So it’s just fantasy versus reality.

And what’s so sinister about adultery is this. All these people I know in my life who have committed adultery step over the line; they dive into the pool, they end up in the deep weeds and they end up facing the same junk that they didn’t ever deal with in their marriage. And it’s even wackier. They spend all this money and time and energy and creativity and innovation with this other person when they could just stop and water their own grass.

Second Corinthians 10:5 says, “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Every thought. You’re in Hawaii with your new bride and you see the girl? Whoa! I’ve got to take that thought captive. Erase! Delete! Delete! Delete! Every thought. Ask, “Does this thought honor you Lord or not?” If it doesn’t, throw it out! Delete! Delete! Delete!

“Yeah, but God wants me to be happy.”

No he doesn’t! He wants our obedience.

“Well, you know, I didn’t mean it at the altar.”

You said it before God. It’s a covenant, not a contract.

“Well, God will forgive me.”

It is the level on which we yearn to have a deep friendship or a marriage or someone we are really close with.  And that is something we are conscious of, that is why we have friends, that is why God said after he made Adam, it is not good for man to be alone.  So He created other people so we can relate to them.  God is a relational God, we are relational creatures.  That is the first level.  The second level though is deeper than the first.  The second level is relational yearning we have that can only be satisfied with a personal encounter and a personal friendship with Jesus Christ.  You see, we all have a hole in our heart that can only be satisfied by Him.  You take level one yearning and level two yearning and you put them into a single’s life, you stir them up a little bit and, man, you have someone who is obsessed with finding Mr. or Ms. Right.

They are on a spouse hunt and they will do anything just to get involved and to meet the right person, because they think it will cure their loneliness.  “I am lonely now, if I marry this person, it will do it, I will never be lonely again.”  So they meet this person, and the level one needs are getting satisfied and before they know it they are walking down the aisle saying, I will, I do.  Off to the honeymoon, and after about six months they start looking at each other and they start saying, “Wait a minute.  I am still lonely, I was lonely before the marriage, and now I am lonely.”